A loss of Understanding

I'm at a loss of understanding,
so perhaps someone can enlighten me.
What elements make me an atrocious person?
When was it declared a fiendish endeavor,
for me to strive to preserve my identity?

Is the problem some material matter,
where my means utterly fail to comply?
Are physical appearances really the scale,
on which importance is judged by?

Perhaps measuring on a social angle;
it is a mistake to have outcast friends?
To search out people who are sad and lonely,
and to them my compassion extend.

Is my crime to struggle with happiness,
and remain pained as life is stricken by grief.
Am I frowned upon for not pretending to smile,
or holding honesty as my higher belief.

Is it pitiful to keep hoping for solutions,
to all the diseases plaguing people in this life.
Would it be healthier for me to realize,
that we are bound to continue in endless strife.

Do my talents pale in comparison,
to the abilities of my friends and my peers.
Would it be advisable to just stop trying,
and waste away my remaining years.

In a world where morals are trampled,
am I wrong to hold my conduct standards high?
Does standing out against the common crowd,
explain why my efforts always remain shy?

I'm at a loss of understanding,
so perhaps someone can enlighten me.
What elements make me an atrocious person?
When was it declared a fiendish endeavor,
for me to strive to preserve my identity?

-Tainted Mikochan