Land of the Dead

I want to join my best friends now I want to leave this place we have to call home I want to join the land of the dead. I am ashamed to be living I am horrible I have basically killed someone I am the killer I am the poison that killed her blame me shoot me rape me blame me for the death of such a perfect girl send me to prison... Can I join my best friends now? Can I join the land of the dead?....