Here where there is no sound
It can be so loud
The ugliness, the truth
The liars in the crowd
The world's greediness
All the injustice
The worthlessness
and the insignificance in my life.
"God, why am I here?"
I cry in vain
Stressing for a response
A justification
A purpose
A reason for living
In a world such as this
And having a mind even worse.
Terrified of entity
and society.
I only recognize
my own world
That's full of darkness
And of pigment.
Where the moment after sunrise
The sun will set.
As fast as a bullet leaving a gun
Enthusiasm and depression make one
Crashing together creating confusion
and isolation.
Who could ever understand me?
I am alone in the world
And no one could see
The pictures in my head
That can't be delineated to the eye
Of stars and honey
Kisses to lovely
Snowy deserts
Demand's laughter
Angels under fire
Me, running after nowhere
As fast as I could
Past forest trees
With bruised knees
And clown's tears
A princess's fears
A ballerina's grace
Your flawless face
Lights in a city
A Smokey room
A bride and groom
Streams and bleeds
Wants and needs.
My soul is made up of this
Forming who I am.
All these images
Of my emotions
Compressed into this tiny body
That gasps for air
Ceasing slowly through a tear
Dying to be free
Independent from me.
How is anyone going to know me?
How is anyone going to love me
If I can't love myself?
How could anyone understand me?
These pieces unrecognizable to the world.
These pieces invisible
The pieces that I need
To make peace with myself.
"God, is this why I am here?"
My spirit is a child's
Raped from meaning.
And a drunk's
Intoxicated by dilutions.
And a hopeless romantic's
Waiting for prince charming.
And an artist's
Needing to create whats disregarded.
And a speaker's
Without a voice or the capability
Being overpowered by anxiety.
Such anger, and extreme loneliness.
And a goddess's
Finding all to need in myself.
This is why God put me here.
