Like i said about the other vanquished one applies here. lovely!

Your work astounds me
I love how it flows onto each line
You're a great poet and if anyone syas otherwise they dont know what theyre tlaking about
~Em

I love the message and the word use in this poem...very rich. just try organizing your poems into stanzas according to the rhyme scheme, like in this case, couplets. still, pretty good, and i like how it told a story. keep up the good work