Darkness before the light

You pushed me into the well… turned your back away and whistled a sweat tune… You lived on … and as life throws that question again I asked “ why …?”

“ Why” I whispered
“Why” I spoke lauder looking up Crying… The night sky had no stars, even if it they did they cant save me… They cant guide me. There nothing... to me. You where everything for that moment, when I called you mine.

Cold walls, close yet so far, IN the darkness I’m lost.
Walking to the end of the earth in my dark whole

Just wanting to know why I was there… frantic and panicked, a flood of thoughts, like lightning hitting its target every time it hits me
“ its my fault…”
But what did I do…?
“ I’m not good enough”
“ what’s wrong with me?”
and ridged puzzle peaces I make a picture…
“ its my fault I’m not good enough, everything is wrong. He doesn’t want me, he doesn’t want my … heart my love, no … what I have isn’t good enough to be called such. I don’t have anything like that… I don’t have anything to give to him. He hates me, I hate me. ...”

my sky never to clear to that blue sky, the stars in the night.
Never will I give again, I have nothing to give… nobody deserves such gifts, such filth
Nobody deserves me…

Her eyes wondering falling and rising seeing past everything, seeing nothing…