I could have swore I had two brothers

Sometimes I just wish you could see what I write down
How often I grab my pen and paper a day….
And write how sad I am you’re not around

I watch home videos of us all the time
I can’t remember to when I was that small…
Back then this situation never crossed my mind

I under stand the college life; I do
But it’s as if we aren’t even related…
I was blessed with one brother, but I could swear it was two

You used to come home a lot, when I wasn’t grown
But now that I am an emotional woman….
In the state you grew up in, your presence is unknown

I deal with flying to you once a freakin’ year
But you have no idea how much I miss you…
Brother what would you say if you saw my tears?

Now it’s to the point when you and I are on the phone
It’s dead quiet, nothing, silence…
I’m speaking all alone

When I get excited about something is, “oh really?”
Do you not care to talk to me or something?...
Am I still immature and silly?

Do you know that I’d kill for you to laugh at me once?
It rarely ever happens when we talk or are together…
I haven’t heard it in weeks or months

I saw you on TV the other day, of course baseball you were playing
I told daddy when I went to bed I cried….
In the midst if blowing my nose and praying

I stretched my arms forward to give you a hug
Broke dad’s heart to see me that way…
I just wish you’d show your sister some love

Do you know I’d kill to have a real relationship with you?
Like my brother who lives here…
Do you know what I’d do?

It’s as if we aren’t even brother and sis
Just mere people smiling and talking on the phone
Expressing and giving no hugs and a kiss

I wish I could remember when we were little and had fun
Now these days it just cost so much…
Because it’s like your ONLY dads son