Courage

She just doesn't understand
I can't explain to her how I feel
I know she says she feels the same
but I don't see how she could
I'm sick of her saying
that she knows
what I'm going through
I thought we would be best friends always and forever
no one gets me
I just want all the pain to go away
I want it all to end
and for my soul to be free
cuz I'm tired of lonely nights crying up in my room
slitting my wrists
in the dark bathroom
when things go wrong
Maybe one time
I'll have the courage
to make the deepest cut
and just let the blood run
that way it will be over
and it will all be done
but it's not that I'm scared
or that I want to live
it's just I have to ask one question
would I want to put people I love through that
even if they don't understand me
and make me cry at times
or give me a reason
to slit my wrists again
I still love them
even if maybe they don't love me as much as I love them
or maybe not at all
but none of that really matters
I'm just spilling out words
but in the end
I wish I did have that courage
to stop the pain forever