Oblivion

The only ones i've ever been ready to love
Are the same ones that can never love me
My heart and soul is there but i have to run
Because I know they can't love me
And for once I dont know what to do
All I can do is cry
i keep trying to look forward
But the past is still holdin on
All the memories.."your ma girl...ma sister"
But sometimes blood turns to water
And no you're not there

I keep thinking about what I did
Was i too distant a while back
When I needed to clear my head
Should I have kept my mouth shut that time
When you needed to hear...when i need to speak
Should I have not freed my self to have a mind
Should I have been more of a push over...
Should I have minded my business when u were crying to me..not listened at all
Should I have come over when u wanted to be alone and made u cry to me when u didnt want to talk
What should I have done
Did we come to know each other TOO much
Did we come to be TOO close...were we too good of friends
So you thought it was time for the friendship to end

Not friends at all??...
Why does that make me cry???
Why do these insipid shows of weakness always come out
Why do these taps flow free with no way to be turned off
Why does that knife gleam why does drama PREVAIL
Why cant i escape where can i escape??
runaway to something that will eventually itself be gone
Because all good things come to an end
Like ice cream and cake and rainfall and YOu and US
Because you're gone and you're not coming back
And i'm stuck because where can I go
Where can I hide...my one security is gone
YOU MADE IT GONE
You made forever end too soon....you made the sun become consumed
By the never ending rein of clouds and gray skys

"What are friends"..."who needs friends"..
You want it to be over
I want it to start....I want this process of breaking apart to hit me
WAIt..no...I THINK IT JUST DID
You just want to forget I want it so I never wud have had to remember.
Because "the scars never heal like the bruises do"
You'll never be gone
and..GOD...I'm so pathetic the way I hold on
At least thats what ur thinkin
You think I'm dumb cus i think we're still "FAEVA"
No if you wanna think i'm dumb
Think I'm dumb for thinkin we ever were
Yet tho i'm stirring and concerning I'm still tellin ppl...
"yeah we're tigh"..."We're never ending"
We're..BULL
Why?....Cus the pain eventually goes away but the memories remain
And I tried to walk...tried to escape...
But I couldnt now I see i shouldnt
SHOULDNT HAVE WALKED IN IN THE FIRST PLACE
Why is there all this rage....You say Friends aren't real
yeah....cus u were my friend...and i guess u werent real to me
Cus when I'm hearin what ur sayin...I'm not hearin about friends...the ones that you hate..I'm hearin about me ME
I wasnt good enough for you...I didnt have your back...
Tell me is that true...tell me if when u were down and out....even when we werent talkin
Tell me I wasnt there
Because I have to hear you say it
Say I'm the one that messed everything over
Tell me I'm the one that always screws up
I'm the one that means.....NOTHING

Nothing...nothing to you...I am nothing to you...
Nothing...how can I be nothing...
How can I mean NOTHING
Why nothing...nothing at all
Why cry...cus my tears mean nothing
Whats the point to live when i'm nothing...
Bordering on existance...and still being
NOTHING

I'm nothing...yeah...Nothing too you