Woooowza. This hit me straight on. The impact of this poem is amazing and loved the way you constructed it. There were patterns within patterns. The words had a haunting effect....there was so much emotion and intensity. I was not expecting the twist at the end....dare I say it sounded life like....this is simply AWESOME....keep writing...all the best...

[lostlaureate - come find me]

Thats interesting. wasnt really expecting that to happen. nice job though!