Sometimes I sit around and think
About how it would be
If I had a father around
Someone that I could call daddy
I wasn't fortunate enough
To have a two parent home
I just was happy as hell
When you called me on the phone
Sometimes I blame you
For all the things that I do
Because through all of my pain
I'm reminded so much of you
I never got the chance
To run and jump in your arms
To tell you that I missed you
And be hypnotized by your charm
I never was daddy's little girl
Just mommy's spoiled brat
And because you never came to see me
I hated you for that
I look for love in all the wrong places
Cause I don\'t know how a man should love me
You missed out on that part
All I have is my dignity
Sometimes I sit around and wonder
How it would be if you were around
Would you be the one to pick me up?
Every time I hit the ground
You left me for no reason
And all I knew was hate
For you to be in my life
Would be nothing but priceless fate
When all the kids would bring in daddy
I wondered where you were
But all my hopes turned into hate
And a mother is what I prefer
You lied to me about everything
And still I trusted you
And all the promises that you made
That never ever came through
I always came second to you
And I don't understand why
You couldn't just be there for me
When at night, all I could do was cry
Not one birthday card
Or even an I Love You
That's all I wanted from you
And that's what you failed to do
For thirteen years, I didn't know you
And then you try and show up
By that time I didn't care anymore
By that time I had given up
You wonder why I hate you
I can't believe you don't understand
All those times you weren't there
When mommy needed a hand
You want me to call you dad
But you haven't been one to me
Those words exiting my lips
Would be nothing but hostility
You give me all this money
I guess to buy my affection
This is not the right way
You need a big correction
I feel as though I don't need you
It's been too damn long
I've grown into a young lady
And all my pain has kept me strong
I can never say
That I want my husband to be like you
Because I don't know what that is
Or the things that you do
You thought that I didn't know
About what you did on the side
But I knew all along
Things like that you cannot hide
I was embarrassed of you
I hated everything about you
I hated the fact that you stayed in my house
But there was nothing I could do
Yeah, you doing better now
But I'll be eighteen in a year
Better late than never, right?
But right now I don't want you here
It is fun to speak to you
But I cannot form a relationship
I'm used to it being us two
I'm not ready for a change like this
You hurt me so many times
I guess this is my time
You are my father, you'll always be
But you'll never ever be mine
I never got the chance to say I Love You
And give you all my heart
You never gave me that chance
And empty stayed that part
I know I acted like I didn't care
Because I never needed a reason to
I just felt that you should know
The feelings I have for you
I could go on forever
But I'll just be wasting my breath
I've given you all that I can
I now have nothing left.
PLEASE RATE THIS POEM...THIS IS REAL AND WHAT I HAVE TO GO THROUGH...TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK!
