Just reading this...
i don't feel any love or anything at all coming from you...
and it's hurtful...
I'm not in school anymore....
i have a whole different set of issues that you cant even begin to comprehend...
you haven't even started to think about how you are going to spend your life..
and how you are going to get to where you can achieve what you want to...
that's why this whole thing never should have gotten this serious...
i feel like your older brother.... your analogies and examples are really insulting...
it's like you think that i cant get what your getting at so you try to come up with something you think i can understand....
I'm not one of those retards that go to special classes....
I've got 5 years on you Hun.
i understand u completely without you treating me as some pour pitiful slow person who hasn't a clue in the world...
I've had a enough of that kind of treatment from my step dad....
i dint need it coming from both sides in my life....
so please spare me.
right now all you can handle is a hand in hand relationship...
you want physical comfort...
comfort that involves presence... because it's just to damn hard for you to get knee deep in someone you cant see...
and i understand that...
I've been at that low point in my life..
there was a time when all that i trusted was what i could touch and feel and see and hear...
(like you now, this is basically you that I'm describing right now)
but when all that failed me...
all my senses failed...
i turned and caught a gleam of inspiration...
do you want to know what it was?
it was the possibility to a greater scheme of things...
a scheme greater then i had in mind....
a purpose better then what i intended...
and nothing in this world can satisfy my search for a calling...
save God,
and you just where not my calling at all...
i apologize for trying to make you be and for trying to rush God's appointment for me on you.
you will learn because life will teach you that you have to give up your plans, your dreams....
and share and compromise....
i hope i don't see you later down the line in life a bitter single mother....
i really hope that you learn that the world does not revolve around you at all...
and that if you keep your thoughts constantly centered on yourself and what you gain out of everything,
you will lose love's and connections like you lose teeth..
long, painful, and ever so slow... I'm telling you right now...
this is what happens to self centered minds.
if you continue to keep yourself in mind and not others you will be left with yourself...
i had to learn that the hard way... cause now I'm homeless...
i hope you never have to end up in my situation in order to you... because i really think that you aren't strong enough and stable emotionally to handle the issues that i have..
that's why me and you never worked out.
please,
for your own sake,
hearken,
if not to the Lord,
but to the examples of failures all around you...
where do you think Kip will end up ten years from now?
honey...
you are headed down a dead end...
and you wont like the ending at all...
you will end up relying on just yourself for support...
hopefully if this happens,
you will have learned enough from the mistakes of Kip,
to survive...
and at least know what not to do...
i hope you use your full potential... you are so more capable to do so many other things with your life... all you have to do is deliver yourself from the fear of man... fear of man covers you like a dark cloak...
this has blinded you and discouraged you from me...
and i don't have the power to deliver you from this demon that plagues you...
you will eventually realize that this fear will only burden you....
so let your troubles go..
place them at the foot of the cross, and let Jesus rule your life... sacrifice is the only way to live.. everything in your own gain is meaningless...
