"I watch you walk, I trip and fall."
There's something about that line I love, but I don't know what,hehe. Well anyways, Love the poem dear. I know it came from the heart. The flow of the poem was great. 5/5 babe.

This was an amazing poem i absolutely loved it. it had a unique style and flow but thats definitely good in this case the rhyme pattern was good and the way it told a tale was superb. your an excellent poet keep up the nice work :)
~jacob

I don't know the truths, but neither the lies,
But none of them are able to heal the pain inside

i like these lines the best. im not into love poems generally so this holds no magic for me. but that isnt your fault. all in all its nice. nicely written.

Great rhyme and rhythm makes a great poem, although i think u should re word the first stanza, theres a few too many words in the second line and it disrupts the rhythm.

This is amazing, too! all of your poems are amazing. and all of them deserve higher ratings than a 5.
i'm envious of your writing skills. but hopefully one day, i might be as good as you. =)
5/5

Wow this was amazingly beautiful and well written. I can relate so much to the words said here. Everything in this poem fits so perfectly together, keep up your excellent work! 5/5

Wow Jon, this poem is absolutely amazing. It really takes my breath away.

"You are the one, now this has begun."

That line seems to have such a brilliant impact on me. Not sure why, it's almost tear-jerking. Well done!!!

I found this so wonderful because I know few male poet who write as well as you....this bit stood out:

"And wish that now for once I could cry,
And wish for once, just now I could fly."

I must agree with elijah, you are so charming and like many of your great works this could easily be a song...

[lostlaureate - come find me]

Really good........great rhyming

ALLI

Gorgeous! the style is different and quite refreshing and it flows perfectly! i'm in love with it! lol your crazy talented!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!