Just Sittin Here Part One

Sittin\' in front of a blank pad on a blank day, thinkin\' blank thoughts, about the shoes I just bought, the last fight I fought. my last dish and pot. When I realize everything is moving so fast, then I\'m blinded by my past, always coming in dead last and I stop.
Then it all goes blank, and I\'m walkin\' the plank, just a toy, like a jack in the box without its crank, my throat closes from the alcohol I just drank.
Then I stop.
And my chest is on fire, my eyes full of desire, my heart matches that emotion, but my mind calls it a liar, the rest of my body agrees that I\'m preachin\' to the choir and I try to prevent what I know is comin\' next, my muscles flinch and flex, wildly loosin\' control I\'m hexed, vexed, destroyed, annoyed with life in it\'s entirety, I need relief so the hell with sobriety, don\'t lie to me,
I know I can drink past nightmares, run my own life, lawless livin\' without a care, yes I dare, I look death in the face and dare him to try it, behind this wheel 90 mp h\'s or something like it, I\'m speeding controlled by demons stuck in this trance, my mind flashes and I\'m askin\' grandma to dance and then it stops.And what grows is the fear it\'s all so real... but truth smacks me back to reality and I realize I\'m just sittin\' here