I\\\\\\\'m a Woman

I shave my legs, I sit down to pee, & I can justify any shopping spree. I don\'t go to a barber, but a beauty salon. I can get a massage without a hard-on. I can balance the checkbook; I can pump my own gas. I can talk to my friends about the size of my a s s . My beauty\'s a masterpeice & yet it takes long. At least I can admit to others when I\'m wrong. I drive in circles at any cost, & I don\'t have a problem admitting I\'m lost. I never forget a important date. You got to deal with it, I\'m usually late. I don\'t watch movies with lots of g o r e. Don\'t need instant replay to remember the score. I won\'t lose my hair, I don\'t get jock itch, & just because I\'m assertive, don\'t call me a b.i.t.c.h. Don\'t say to your friends, \"Ohh yeah; I can get her.\" In your dreams, my dear, I can do better. Flowers are okay, but jewlery\'s best. Would you look at my face, not at my chest? I don\'t have a problem with expressing my feelings. I know when you\'re lying; you look at the ceiling. Don\'t call me a girl, a babe or a chick. I\'m a woman; get it, you pr.i.c.k?