I want..

by Emma   Apr 15, 2006


I want you here
i want your heart
i hate that we're
so far apart.

i want you as mine
i always have done
i need you, no one else
i want only you hun.

to touch your hand
to hear you breathe
and i keep hope,
i still believe.

we're meant to be
so it's got to happen
so I'll let destiny
weave its pattern

so I'll patiently wait
for the day to come by
when we say hello
and never say goodbye

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Latest Comments

  • 11 years ago

    by Pete Daniels

    Hi again. Just re-read your poem another 4 times, and to me, if it's read with a musical flow then it works really well. x

  • 11 years ago

    by Pete Daniels

    Patiently waiting for someone to be yours can be a painful thing. But I will disagree with the other comments in a way. I feel you wrote that in one go, straight from the heart, without thinking about punctuation etc. so it conveys the honest feelings inside you..its the meaning that counts.!! I think your poem is lovely, well done. x

  • 11 years ago

    by ChrisT

    I found the poem romantic but I would have to agree with the above comment the flow would be better with we are instead of we're.

  • 12 years ago

    by Darren

    A great little poem,

    1 nitpick

    I would change we're to we are.
    I know most people would say"we're" however 'we are' tends to help the flow bounce nicer into line 4.

    Also (did I say 1 nit pick?)
    No commas or full stops apart from lines 4, 8, 11 and 12.

    So I'll let destiny weave it's pattern.

    I like this line the best.
    Can anybody escape their destiny?
    Mine was obviously to be a bit anal on a poetry website!!

    regards

    Darren

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