Dentophobia

I lay awake

I am tired

You will never know how tired I am

You will never feel this pain

I cannot share it with you

You would go insane.

If I tried

If I succeded,

To give you a second of my life

You would open your mouth

You have no cavities,
I noticed

...And you would scream.

If it ever stopped

If I could finally sleep

Oh, that I want to so much

For once to be able,
To close my eyes at night.

But I can't

This fear is my neverending fight

This will be my death

At my own hand, perhaps.

I do not want to die yet,

But it does not end.

I am so tired

My eyes are red

Blood flows from my mouth

A mouth turned black

And I wonder whether

If I died,
Suddenly...

Would my mouth turn white again?

*only someone with dentophobia would come close to understanding what I just wrote. Please, I ask no criticism, and now, not even for help. In my life, I have never found any.