What Ive become...

My whole life
Every single day
I think about the things you missed
All because you were away

Going away for work
And my first birthday you missed
You were never around to comfort me
So I found comfort in my wrist

When Im angry at you
I pick up the razor and scream
I dont scream with my mouth but instead
Through a blood stream

As the river flows
Right down my arm
I look at the cut gap open
I look at what Ive become

Destroyed inside
Because I didnt get a normal start
Feelings of self hate
Because you broke my heart

And when I put away my blade
I feel a little better for a while
And until the next day
I can wear my old sweet smile

But as soon as I wake up
I hurt from the blood loss
The cut isnt helping anymore
Its back to my life of chaos

So again the river flows
Right down my arm
And as I look at the cut gap open
I look at what Ive become