A letter to my ex

Chris,
This is the best explanation to what has happened to us I have.
I honestly don't know why I cheated on you. I have blocked has much of that as possibly. I do know it wasn't because I didn't love you because I have always loved you. I apologize from the deepest of my heart for hurting you. I never thought such a thing would happen nor did I plan it. I just wish you could forgive me. I know you don't want to be with me but I want us to be friends. I have thought about the pain I caused you and you didn't deserve it. It hurts me every day that I hurt someone I love more than words can even begin to explain. I am truly trying to be there for you and your new girlfriend. It hurts but I only want you to be happy and if I have to sacrifice mine than so be it. I will always hurt because you were hurt. I tried my hardest at the time I didn't know that much I was young. Granted I didn't try as hard towards the end but I am suffering because of that. The only thing I knew how to do really is love you and I guess I didn't do that to well. You were my everything and once I knew you didn't respect me I didn't respect myself. I think that was part of the problem. You see all I ever wanted was love for someone to think I was the only one. I thought you did but if you did I didn't see it. I see you doing that for her and it hurts. But I am trying to take your advice you say I never take and move on. But its really hard when I still want our future. I don't know anymore? I just want to stop hurting. To stop thinking about us since there is no US. My heart has been ripped away and its my fault. Please stop this pain even if I don't deserve it PLEASE. Well I guess I will let go now and help you find happiness. Please be happy because I don't want to hurt you any more. The thing that hurts the most is not knowing how things would've been. Being so close and letting go thats what hurts the most. Thanks for being my friend thats all I can say for now.

LOVE ALWAYS AND FOREVER,
Catherine
Ex- Girlfriend
End of a Seven year relationship