Why do you feel like this? I sometimes think about dying, but hen I think that everyone who turned my life into a hell finally succieded and I don't want them to. Because they wasted a time of my life and I don't want to give them the pleasure to end it.

I think my life is one big test and that I have to make it better (I believe in reincarnation) otherwise my next live or afterlive will even be worse if you can imagine that.