Without you.

by krzysiek   Apr 16, 2006


Without you the sky is gray.
Without you I'm not okey.
Without you I cannot survive.
Without you there is no life.
Without you there is no light.
Without you every day is night.
Without you I cannot smile.
Without you I wish to die.

You need to know something about me
...that without you I cannot be...
because no matter how much I will try
...without YOU there is no I.

    report violation
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Latest Comments

  • 18 years ago

    by Synh

    I love the last two lines. You spelled 'okay' wrong in the second line though. Good write. 4/5

  • 18 years ago

    by ~~Lindsay Woods~~

    I love it 4/5...keep up the great work!

  • 18 years ago

    by LadyPearl

    Nice job, not my usual style, but nicely written

  • 18 years ago

    by azlan26

    "okey" should probably be "okay"...anyway that' the boring part of the comment over with
    I loved this poem because of its simplicity, and the repetition of the line is something I like doing myself
    The last line was perfect to and very thought out ... changing the rhyme scemem at the end also helped emphasise and make the last two lines stand out
    A great read :)

  • 18 years ago

    by master of shadow

    The ryhme is very good unforced and runs well, the 1st two lines are brillint at hooking the reader in and this interest is maintained thouhgout. overall a great peice

    5/5

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