A Few of my Least Favorite Things

I like how your pretend to care.
I love how you are "always there".
I'm glad you have your two faces,
Either of them with fit anyone of your many cases.
I love how your problems come before mine.
I like how when it doesn't go your way you tend to whine.
I love how I have to give all the advice, when you have "so much" wisdom.
I love how all my great poem ideas or words suddenly become yours.
I love the way you never once think of thinking before you speak.
I love how you always try to tear me down, when I'm higher than you know you'll ever be.
I love having you around so I can look at you, straight in your eyes, and know I'll always be better.