My Pain

Dry tears soak my pillow as I wish this was the end,
the inner pain hurts beyond the physical, and I'm also mentally shut down,
I can hardly move for I'm weak due to the lack of eating,
I've put my life on hold,
I need time to think,
as my thoughts overwhelm me,
I die a little inside,
I feel empty,
I need to know, but fear the answer,
once again familiar thoughts surface my mind as they did once upon a time,
back when my heart was filled with sorrow and depression was second nature,
I can still feel the fear of terminating what is so precious,
and feeling this way is selfish on my part,
the pains in my chest are those of a thousand knives,
one by one the relieve the pain instead of causing it,
for the pain of a heart which is broken,
hurts much more then death itself,
as I taste the salty warmth running down my face,
I wish death could come.