My Other Half

I think you should reformat this poem.

The first three stanzas should be one, then the fourth should be a lone, then the last three should be one stanza as well.
Also, drop the 1 and 2 and use proper words like you had done in the previous line. It's messy, unecessary and makes it look like you're too lazy to write properly when we know that's not true.

I'll give you a freebie this time.

My other half
The only one.
God made us two
Instead of one.
The one to succeed
While I'd fade away.
The one to replace me
Day after day.
With all your success,
And my failing grades,
You took all the limelight
While I stood in the shade.

I sunk into the depth
Of these incredible blues.
My life was a mess
It was all down to you

Nobody noticed,
Nor even cared.
Though they new all the signs,
They would never have dared
To see if i was ok,
Because it would take all the time
From their beloved daughter
Who turned out just fine
They took me the the ledge.
Their actions pushed me over.
They killed me slowly
With my very own sister.

Bret

This peom is really good. i liked it seeing that i have sisters and siblings that look up to me and everything

I can relate to this...I know how that feels, I love the way you put it in words...nicely done! thanks for your comment...
Christina

Good job...!
Have you ever told them about all this....? If not I think you should...
Keep Writting!!-xxxx-

Hmmm this was really good. But I got a bit confused. I wasn't sure if you meant sister as in twin. Or just another part of you within you. But it was a great poem, Keep It up! 5/5

luv natalie x-x