Wow i had to give you 5/5 for that
Totally awesome
Sorry my comments are getting worse every time
I'll never hate you suzie, no matter what you do
love
~Em

Hey sweety,

I've been waiting for a new poem =) And here it is.

This whole poem is so fantastic. What impresses me the most is the fabulous use of words.

It's another wonderfull poem. So beautiful, with this haunting flow. It's wonderfull

Loved every part of it once again =)

Lotsaaaaaa love
-xxx-

Wow, Im not one for love poems, But this was really good. The way you worded it was fantastic, And the flow and rhyming was great also. Overall, It was just great! 5/5 Keep it up

luv natalie x-x

I loved the way you starded out the most. It was an awesome write w/o a doubt! Keep it up! ^_^

Harsh words. But very creative. Give a more fluid deliver. It seems to give a quick pause. My personal opinion, if it is ok for me to give, is to use an aa,bb,cc,dd,ee pattern instead of abcb,defe,ghih,jklk,mnon,pqrq. I think it would give it much more flow. If this is out of line let me know, and I'll delete this comment. I think your a great writer, thus I should be more harsh. Give you more of what you need to hear, rather than the normal, it was great. Keep writing.
Daniel Mulvany

Woah. it took my breath away. Unbeliviable!! :)

Thanku all, and especially Daniel Mulvany. I didn't quite understand the whole abcb,defe,ghih,jklk,mnon,pqrq thing but i really needed that constructive ctriticism. Thanks!
-Suzie

I liked the different style of writing, its very 'fresh'. Great work from a great poet.
What else can I say??

Matt

I liked the different style of writing, its very 'fresh'. Great work from a great poet.
What else can I say??

Matt

Hunn..Your choice of words are fantastic. It had a really good flow and the piece was just very powerful. Great job.

The poem was so sad. I think it flowed quite well, it was well written and constructed, it gave me something good to read for a change, something i could relate to, something deep inside came from it.
love Tara-Kay

Heated words that froze my heart
Blisters on my soul
Splinters to the softest hands
And eyes of blackened coal

That was my favourite stanza, really great descriptions. You had a couple of funny characters, which could easily be sorted out. Nice poem - I really enjoyed it.

Peace. [Sole]

Wow...I really like this piece. It really captures me and sucked me in to reading it. It had really good description and use of words. I really enjoyed this.

Kat

I can only imagine how precious you are to be able to write such beautiful poems. You are amazing!

Thank you,
Rich

Heey! its torrie, i love this poem its so good. great job! keep em coming!

I love it! I don't know how you do it. It's juts beautiful

Wow, now that you've told me, I can tell, great poem.

I just want you to know that your poems are such an inspiration to me. Thank you for all you write and please know how much you are admired! Your work is on a totaly different level! It amazes me. ... Thank you too for always commenting on other people's work and for never being afraid to write about the things you do.

That was a great poem, I could really feel the emotions coming from it

Couple things... first the characters need to be replaced with an apostrophe. Second, the word tinkle seems like the way wrong word in this context. Twinkle, perhaps??

Very interesting poem, I found I had a difficulty following exactly what it was about though.