Reality Seeping In

I can't lift myself from the floor this day
this pain has gotten too real
my tears won't wash these feelings away...

In a pool of blood I lie
my own, in the time I dread
tears of self pity I cry
just another lie to add to those already dead.

Forgotten..
When the word is spoken
no one really feels
but when inside you feel so broken
it all becomes so real..

Time is a distant place
Happiness seems so far gone
in time it has been replaced
and sadness is all I feel.

This is the reality I have come to
where my nightmares have become my life
I analyze everything I do
and it all comes back to deepen the strife..

Paranoia is all I see
in my dreams I keep it real
I wonder if this little girl
will ever learn how to deal..

This blood I trace
with my fingertips so cold
I peer into my own face
and the distant happiness I could never hold.

Sadness speaks from my eyes
telling of the different times
my feelings are of loneliness
holding on to just my rhymes..

Broken inside with nowhere to go..
Looking at a face who has nothing to give..
Reaching out with nothing to hold..
Hanging on with no will to live...

Who am I?