Undguein ( Shadow-Stalker)

by Brooke Thompson   Apr 19, 2006


Shadows fall upon a midnight moon
Hiding darkness that secretly waits
Those of Deaths messengers, harbingers of doom
Laying traps and setting their bait

Careless those who become entranced
Folly of he to follow in their wake
Fearful of the morning rays of l light, long ago danced
Of hatred towards the sun that takes

Soil of the graveyard feeds their malicious minds
Holding, bearing the grip of death in their doomed claws
Watching as their prey flee like frightened hinds
Stalking upon secretive, shadowy limbs

Bearing their fangs as sharp as steel
Sinking death into unsuspecting flesh
Burning eyes of unnerving anger and zeal
Sharpest claws that tear at chain and mesh

Violent packs of swift moving shadows
Sharing naught in their massive power
Wiping out the open meadows
Stealing babes from bed and bower

Sowed on the graves of demons and elves
Entwined in ancient magic from lands unknown
Deep in the earth they delve
Digging to the ancient soil hence which they are sown

Raising others to join their pact
Following their Demoniac orders
Dancing and whispering to new moon's tact
Flying thorough the land without borders

Mutations of the human form
Drifting through towns and villages unseen
Groups, packs hiding in the norm
Nations falling to their knees from the obscene

Thousands of deaths lay upon their memory
Only the Shade Wing will save all from the obscene
All power of these beasts belong
To the one who betrays
Who will take the world in hand

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Latest Comments

  • 18 years ago

    by johnnys_princess

    Great formation and use of rhymes, great dark story wonderfuly writen 5 strars lynne

  • 18 years ago

    by Sean Allen

    "Careless those who become entranced"
    this sentence requires more punctuation to make grammatical sense, particularly between 'careless' and the rest of the sentence.
    ~~~
    "Fearful of the morning rays of l light, long ago danced"
    of what light? what is 'l' light?
    ~~~
    "Digging to the ancient soil hence which they are sown"
    I thought that was an awkward sentence construction that hindered the rhythm of the stanza for the sake of the rhyme. I'd consider revising.
    ~~~
    Interesting story poem, very dark and ghoul-y.

  • 18 years ago

    by SCARECROW

    Also, I congratulate you for not binding yourself completely to a rhyme-scheme of sorts. I despise people who rely solely on rhyme-schemes. Speaking from opinion though, because I believe (as rhyme schemes were created by OTHER PEOPLE) it is not very original for the author.
    Again, good work.

  • 18 years ago

    by SCARECROW

    This is the first poem of yours I have read, and I am adding you to my favourites. Exquisite work.
    5

  • 18 years ago

    by oldthings

    It's a well written poem with a very cool story in it. It created such great visual picture as I read it. The flow could be a bit better but overall i liked it =) good job.

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