Its not the fact that I fear letting people get to know me, I believe its the fact that I do not WANT people to get to know me. I’d rather keep to myself then hang out with a group of people. I have friends but very few close friends. I do not like letting people in my heart because I found out the hard way what some of them will do to it. I have been ripped apart from the inside so many times my heart is in shreds. I have sewed it back together. The threads were ripped and torn by someone else. I have stapled and taped it. Again, it was torn. I do not own a broken heart, I own a shredded heart. No one can fix that. I have no heart to let people come to, no heart to hold them close to. And do not say you can fix it, because you cannot. The only way it could ever be fixed is for me to find that one person that I can love and trust fully. I hurt everyday. I cannot stop it. The only person that can I have not found yet. I love all my friends to death but none of them are that one person. They help hold me together and their love for me helps keep me sane, helps keep me alive. They lessen the pain. Every time I am ripped apart again they are there to help sew me back up. They are there for me through everything, good or bad and I thank them for that. I have cried on their shoulders and they’ve cried on mine. Its an endless circle of love, hope, pain, tears, and friendship.
