A four letter word that I always looked for to comfort me, has now let me down…….HOPE
No longer do I have confidence in this simple word. And as for love….. There is no such thing.. No such emotion do I feel or have. Wondering what it was that I did or what I said, I go numb… I feel nothing … I will cry myself to sleep tonight!
But please don’t ask me what is wrong or tell me it will be ok, I want no sympathy or empathy. I will once again bottle it all up and force out that smile and let my pathetic laughter take over … on the outside no one will no.. they will see the normal me but on the inside I slowly break down, my heart is being shattered into a million…..
So much for my HOPE
Funny how life works really….. One of min life can be so great and so wonderful, so full of happiness you think nothing can go wrong… then the next min it is all torn down and shattered into a million. I don’t understand, I don’t know what it was that I did, I don’t know what it was that I said, I don’t know what happened and what went wrong, was it me , was it him, was there or is there another girl? What? Who? When? Why? Why me? I was happy and I thought he was too, I guess I was wrong…. Like always ….. HOPE , hope for nothing… HOPE…. screw hope … yea right screw love too.. Its all a commonly mistaken for happiness when in all reality it is all a crock of shit . An emotion that instead of making you happy makes you hurt., fills your heart with pain and anguish that will sooner or later break you down into a pile of nothingness because your body is so numb from depression you just feel nothing.
