I confessed that I did something wrong and I never questioned if that was the right thing to do.
Every emotion was going through me, and even though I was scared, I never thought about lying to you.
That might not count in your eyes but it does in mine.
Afraid to tell you how I feel so I just sucked it up and told myself, “Courtney don’t wine.â€
We have become so distant the last few days, how can this be?
Mistakes have been made, tears have been cried, all that happened just because of me.
I did it, I looked through your things and I told you I wasn’t going to drink but I did.
I felt alone and so I distanced myself, I was scared, so from then on, from you, my feelings, I hid.
You told me you didn’t trust me anymore and all I could think about was how this was all my fault.
The pain shot throughout my whole body and then I thought about how the relationship was about to come to an unrecognized, commanding halt.
My whole world got turned up side down within the first 10 minutes of that phone call.
My inability to see that I was making a mistake started a pathetic trip that led to the tremendous fall.
I know how bad I screwed up and I’ll do anything to win back what I’ve lost.
When I say anything, I mean anything no matter what the trust will cost.
Just don’t leave me alone trying to cope with what I’ve done.
I lose that toughness I have in an instant, become scared, and as for control, there is none.
The only person that can calm me down at this point is you.
Tears falling down faster, shaking is more constant, and the breaths are all to few.
I don’t even know what would’ve happen it you weren’t there talking to me right then.
I’d probably be pretending you were there talking to me, or holding me, to breathe, I have to do anything I can.
But you were there, and you were talking to me and helping me get through.
Nothing made me want to calm down more than when you said that I have to come home to you.
Those words stuck in my mind and that’s when I physically pushed myself to breathe at a normal rate.
The fact that you were and are the only person that can calm me down, shows me that we’re not only meant to be, but we’re each other’s untouchable fate.
Baby I love you and there’s nothing I can say that can ever be more true.
You’re the beating in my heart; I can’t live without you.
You’re the reason I wake up in the morning and the reason I go to sleep at night.
That’s why I know that I’ll never leave you and I know you’ll never leave me, no matter how much we fight.
We both love each other and we’re both going to make mistakes.
There are going to be kinks in the chain but we both need to work together to make sure that it never breaks.
Even though I lost some of your trust I’m going to work to make sure I get that back.
When I do get it, I am going to fight to make sure I don’t make any mistakes and that trust you have in me will never again lack.
Once again, nothing can be more truthful than the feelings that I have inside for you
Trust, or no trust, those feelings will never go away, you my life, my baby, my Balu.
