Laura I really did like this poem. This wasn't the first time I had read it. But could I make one suggestion please. You should switch stanza two with stanza three. Why don't you read it that way and see how it sounds. Then you can show no escape and connect it with nightmares :)

Wow.. this is a very truthful poem.. i loved ur powerful vocabulary and the rhyme.. even tho its reli hopeless and sad, the poem was reli inspiring to me and it was well-written..
keep it goin
thnx 4 the comment
take care
NannO

Hey Laura, here is you power critique..... The only thing I can see to change would be: 2nd stanza remove "and" from the second line and "with" from the last line. 3rd stanza remove "where" from the second line and "and" from the last line. Other than that, this is a very unique and wonderfully written poem, the flow and rhyme make for a perfect read. Well done.

Great poem. You do a fantastic job with your rhymings.
Nate

I'd love to see more poems like this one. Some people try to use words that they dont really understand and it shows in their poem. You made it look easy. Your a very talented writer 5/5

This is good. i really wanted to comment on your single mother poem, but the system wouldnt let me, kept telling me i needed to register in order to make a comment. it's only doing it for that poem. anyway, i thought that was a great poem, i am a single mother also, and know how it is. living paycheck to paycheck, visits occasionaly from the "father". great writing on both of these.

Oh my god... this was.. amazing.. im speachless... you blew me away. sooo deep... i love the words... i love everything about this poem... your an awesome poet, keep it up, dont ever stop -Jen-

I'm not sure if I was meant to return more then 2-3 or not. But I had to read some more. Your work is -amazing-

The way you opened up this poem was wonderfully done. And your flow is flawless, and the rhymes are great. Your word choice aswell is fantastic. whoa. Keep on writing! 5/5

`Taleee. xx.

I love this poem
"sleep is an expliotion of true feelings" was my favorite part, and I agree with it. 5/5

Wow, this was a really good poem Laur. I loved the intro to this, it had a lot of description and imagery. I also liked the metaphors you used, it made this poem take a double role. You are so talented! Wow, this is really good!..

Good poem (im returning your comment)

the second stanze was my fav. and i like the idea of the poem, if i understood it correctly. it was a little confuzing but i think i got it. the words flowed together really well.

I really enjoyed this poem, your choice of words is impressive and different to many I read on here. I found this really creative and an excellent description of how trapped we can all feel in nightmares but you also illustrate the whole illusion of dreams - that feeling that this is not quite real. Very well written poem, keep it up :)

Whoaa. Very deep. o.O
You're a talented poet.
I enjoyed reading this...

Happy writing
Hannah-

I thought this poem was amazing - its funny cause I was just thinking the same thing the other day when I was thinking about sleep and the whole "how can we really tell if sleep is sleep at all? Or if we lead two separate lives, one out-there and radical and one more conservative and "realistic" as we define it... but really - how do we know we are awake at all?"... that probably doesn't make any sense!! haha! Good write. :)

*High Five*

Definately one of my faves! ;o)

I can completely relate - all of my fears and insecurities come after me in my dreams, and of course I can't do anything about it! this was amazing, and perfectly captures sleep, as far as I'm concerned (and I consider myself a pretty happy person, during the day time!)

Wow this is fantastic. The normal rhymes and the consecutive rhymes are outstanding. The wordchoice is just great plus the flow is perfect. 100% portic and lexically strong.

Tc
Fsams

I love it.. i like what its about and how it was written