In denial

Sitting all alone,
In a cold blacked out room,
Four brick walls surround me,
Shall this place become my tomb?

Picking off the scabs,
From my once so normal wrist,
I look down at the scars,
Dread how it got like this.

Think back to them times,
When i used to smile,
But now its all so fake,
They all know I'm in denial.

I try not to be,
Like the rest of them,
But when i act my self,
They believe I'm seeking attention.

And maybe this is so,
Maybe i actually am,
Maybe cos i need help,
But why should they give a damn?

How'd things get so bad?
What happened to old me?
When did i change?
When i was too blinded to see!

Blinded by my tears,
Bleeding my soul dry,
At nights i can be me,
And let my feelings cry.

When i am around them,
I fake a pretty grin,
But when they turn that corner,
The light in my life blows dim.

To them I'm just another cutter,
Takes her pain out on her self,
Refuses to admit,
That i actually do need help.