Heart breaker

Aww, sad yet sometime sthis happens, and it takes a long time til u can actually get over the guy...great realistic poem!

The way the first and last stanzas link really adds power t this peice, the content is good and clear, though i feel it lacks in expression slightly, i feel that you could have added so much more to this peice. but as it is it is still a very good and well written peice.

Great rhyming scheme, loved the poem but maybe you could have put some more feeling into it? i loved the first and last stanza the thing u did with them though powerful. i do agree with lost laureate thou, it was short and simple but maybe you could develop it a bit more, you no a bit more detail or if not a bit more emotion and description.

Lots of emotion - the last stanza was really quite powerful too. Great poem.

Peace. [Sole]

Wow. This is consise and yet still has some beautiful emotions behind it. I seemed a bit stark at times and there were a few grammatical mistakes...nice start but I think you should develop this one further I want to know more about this guy and this girl!!

[lostlaureate - come find me]