A lie?

When I write about feelings and past
People seem to think it's a lie
All some kind of act,
Well I wish it was
Wish that it was all a lie,
That my father hadn't hit me
That he hadn't insulted me
Constantly put me down.
That my mother hadn't ignored us,
Never caring about our life's.

Wish that this was all a lie,
That none of this was true.
Wish that it was made up,
That I didn't live in fear
Of things that are not longer here.
That none of this was real.

Wish that this pain inside was fake
That I didn't forever plan my death,
Wish I was not coated in scars
Scared of who may find out.
Wish that I had realised,
That things were not right
Stopped the events unfolding,
Prevented all that was to come.
But I cannot go back now,
Cannot change the past.

Wish that this was all a lie,
That none of this was true.
Wish that it was made up,
That I didn't live in fear
Of things that are not longer here.
That none of this was real.

But it all was real,
I write about what I feel
Can do no more, no less.
I cannot change what has happened
Cannot make it all be a lie,
No matter how I wish.
Wish that my brother had not died
At the mere age of eight,
That my mother didn't go into depression
And retract from the world.

Wish that this was all a lie,
That none of this was true.
Wish that it was made up,
That I didn't live in fear
Of things that are not longer here.
That none of this was real.

I wish I could change the past,
So of it I would no longer write
But I cannot do so.
Cannot go back to the beginning
Cannot prevent what has come to pass.
So don't tell me what is a lie!
For I know too well it is true
For it is forever part of me,
No matter how may I wish
For it to not be so.