With this knife

Duty calls,
I mustn't fall.
Cant be weak,
I mustn't sleep.

Must keep trying,
Must be strong.
Even though I'm dying,
I must move on.

Hold my hand,
Help me through.
Drowning in sand,
Call for you.

Reach for you,
Hold me.
Help me,
Dont scold me.

Getting weak,
Can no longer speak.
Ceiling leaks,
Blood seeps.

I fall,
Cant even crawl;
Ive lost it all.

Paralyzed,
Can no longer move.
Drowning still,
And all too soon.

Wont cave in,
I still got to live.
Cant give up,
Still in a rote.

Dont know what to do,
Lost and dazed;
Confused too.

My hearts a little weak,
I still can not think.
Dont think I can take it,
Just trying to make it.

If things go wrong,
Dont know if I could be strong.
How would I go on?
Its been so long.

Too many heart breaks,
From people being fake.
Its like a nightmare,
But soon I will awake.

I'll awake to the pain,
The blood and the tears.
With nothing left to gain,
I'll have to fight my fears.

I fear I'll go insane,
Please help me stay tame.
I dont want to kill,
I cant hold my hands still.

Shaking from nerves,
High on herbs.
Alone in this world,
I want to hurl.

Spinning and twirling,
Room wont stop moving.
Dont know what Im doing,
Lost in these feelings.

Too many to know,
Wish them to go.
Cant get them straight.
How long can you wait?

I'll say yes,
But my heart is a mess.
I'll walk to you,
In my red dress.

I'll hold your hand,
You can be my man.
Well be together,
Though maybe not forever.

Shorter better than never,
Till the stormy weather.
Then my heart will ache,
In silence it will break.

So I lied,
And then I cried.
Sorry for the pain,
But after sun comes rain.

Not who I thought you were,
Decision made my stomach churn.
Hurt by what I did,
So farewell to you, I bid.

I tried to be nice,
But you made me slice.
As much as I hurt you,
You hurt me too.

Crying tears of blood,
Cant see through the suds.
Dying of a broken heart,
My worlds torn apart.

This all must end,
Before it can really begin.
So with this knife,
I finally end my life.

I had no other choice,
I didnt know what to do.
All I have left to say,
Is Im sorry I hurt you;
And I never meant to.