The Knocks At The Door

Tears and nightmares are all I have now
To remind me of that day
And though the fear has passed, I know
The memories will always stay

The knocks at the door at half past 5
Sounds of footsteps at my door
One by one surrounding me
As I sat huddled on my bedroom floor

And I knew even before they spoke to me
Just why they 'had' to come
I tried to hold it together but when they spoke
My whole world came undone

After fifteen days of starving myself
Two days on a drip in a hospital bed
They decided hospital was where I 'should be'
They weren't offering a cure, just locking me up instead

I wanted so bad to scream and to cry
As I heard them say those words
But all the tears had finally run dry
And my voice has left unheard

The nurse came and told me to pack my bags
I was to go in that very night
And I would be sectioned straight away
If I even tried to put up a fight

They didn't understand I was just trying to find
A way to ease the memories and pain
To them I was suicidal, 'in need of hospital care'
And I didn't stop shaking, I was so afraid

The social worker came to escort us in
Straight to the acute psychiatric ward
The unit with the bolted doors and guards
The place where people are locked in, not cured

And I sat shaking on a chair in a little room
Whilst they filled in all of the forms
And put me on a level 1, a person an arms reach away
Before showing me to my dorm

They should have known hospital would make it worse
And that my scars would only grow
But they all refused to listen to my voice
If they'd only listened, they'd have known

One by one, everyone headed towards the doors
'Goodbye's resounded through the pain
And I as stood and watched those doors close
I knew nothing would be the same again