I have never read a poem with the diary format, you did a wonderful job!! 5/5!! This was perfect couldnt change a thing!!

AHHHHH!!! I absolute LOVED it. It was so sad and heart wrenching. But I tihnk what I liked most about it is that you wrote about what you felt and you don't see many writer's doing that anymore. Great job. keep up the good work!

Aww that was sad and I hope things turn out well for you two. Give it time and i'm sure it will. it was very pwerful and deep but is an excellent poem. I'll check out your my space. It seems like you are a pretty cool guy. Take care :)

Man ...um i dotn know what to write except that ...if its true a girl isnt worth your lfie ...your magnificent and a VERY talented writter ...keep it up awesum stuff

XoX *~CrImSon__TeArS~*

A sick ending. I have to be honest I don't like suicide writes, but that's just a personal preference because I find it cliche.
I thought it was clever how you suddenly wrote "I don't have much time" it made me think why not? and read on.
I guess it's something that happens to the most of us - we like someone, get together, break up and then they want to get back.....it's pretty confusing emotionally, I know from personal experience.
What I don't understand about the poem however is why the subject in the poem killed themself over getting slapped...I don't feel there was enough information there for me to actually understand what caused the suicide.
Good job anyway.

I saw broken glass on the floor,
bleeding before I made the door.

^^ okay, these lines didn't really make sense to me 'before i made the door'? i just dont get it..

Now I don't want to ever see her,
I'll make all our memories a blur.

^^^ i really liked that, just because i dont really know why, but for some reason it doesn't seem right...

anyways... great great job.. i just spent like a lot of time reading it and i enjoyed it a lot! good job!

**meggie**

Excellent poem Darien. I believe you captured what many people go through in love and sadly what some to because of it. My son came close to your final lines but thank God we got him help in time.

Very creative, "This is the last I will write bud,
I'm signing out for good. In blood." i like these lines the most. you are very talented.

Wow what a creative and emotional piece Darien, it's really sad. I enjoyed it however.

Hey...I didn't know you had a P&Q account :D
I loved this poem, it's so cleverly written. The last line was so powerful and the emotions were displayed really well throughout.
Keep rockin'
Riffy xx.

Good poem other than this stanza
Dear Diary...
I don't have much time,
my life is on the line.
Today I was slapped,
I must have snapped.

The lines are far shorter than those in the other stanza's and I think it distracts away from the rest of the poem.
The rhyming is well done, and apart from that stanza which I mentioned, it flows very well.

O.O

...

...

That's sooooo Good ....
How do you write like that, I envy you!
That's truthfully good, it flowed, made sense, nothing seemed forced or like it didn't belong, your language is good, Feeling is real and strong ... That's really good ....

O.O
>>MIA

I like this poem very meaningful. Keep up the good work.

Hello Darien, I know I might just be one of the 43, 44 commenters on this poem and you might not take the time to really read this, but I really liked this poem. It was long, but nice. I can totally relate to it. I got hooked on the poem from the first stanza to the last. Please read mine sometime, comments mean so much to me. Read my profile to if you'd like. =)-- (FrozenTearsBleed aka Meg)

Awesome is a very cliche word, but it does you justice.
I loved the dark ending, heheh, In Blood, that was, well, very poetic, like modern Shakespeare or something.

Good Writing.

//T.L.//

This is sad, and very deep. It is really upsetting. Good job writing this, though. You are an excellent writer. I love how you have this in a diary form.
Keep it up.

>black&&blue

Wow what a twist! I loved the procession of mini diary entries and what a completely unexpected (to me) ending. I think the last stanza is fantastically written and a great end-all.

OOOO!!! I Think This One Is My Fav! I Loved It,It Was Brilliant/Astounding/Amazing/Outstanding/Excellent...There's So Many Words For It...This Makes So Much Since...This Poem Has An Amazing Flow...And The Emotion It Holds Is Brilliant! 5/5 Loved It :D
Love,
Steph

It flowed really well. haha but in a way it just seemed like you were making fun of teenage love andhow pathetic it really is.

~~Retniapdoolb

I loved the way the stanzas were dset out like diary entries that wasa really original concept.

Adored the last 2 lines they packed real punch