Slipping away...

by StefQ   Apr 23, 2006


I'm lying in the void,
With my only sparkle of light,
Turning in to darkness
And soon in my world it will be eternal night

My vision of the world is blurred
By all the tears I shed,
All the complications of life
Created a vortex in my head

Cuts in my heart
That will never be the same again
I'm just hoping for someone
To help me make the pain end

Words with no meaning
And promises that weren't real,
Made me to what I am today
A lost soul with wounds impossible to heal

My only ray of hope
Is weakening by the day
And I'm afraid to lose it
I can already feel it slipping away...

*PLEASE RATE AND I'LL DO THE SAME*

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  • 18 years ago

    by Natalie

    Words with no meaning
    And promises that weren't real,
    ````````````````````````````````````
    Loved those lines. This was a really emotional poem. And I loved it. The flow and rhyming were good! A excellent poem overall. Awesome job!! 5/5

    `Taleee xx

  • 18 years ago

    by Fallen~Tears

    I loved the last stanza it really added to the overall piece.. it was a great poem.. 5/5

    ~!*FallenTears~!*
    ~!*Meaghen~!*

  • 18 years ago

    by azlan26

    Some of the last lines of the stanzas were a bit too long
    But apart from that it was excedellent, especially the ending...like you can't stop the thing that means so much from leaving
    Other great poem :)

  • 18 years ago

    by azlan26

    I really thought the last stanza stood out the most, when you think your losing something and you can't prevent it it makes you feel so...helpless
    The rest of it was really sad...it made me feel for the writer
    Lovely...great stuff

  • 18 years ago

    by Sarah Ann

    Wow! I agree wholeheartedly with the above comment. The last stanza really fit your poem together so well, there was no thoughts of anything wrong with it after reading those lines. I could feel the sadness and sense of longing in every word, and I could relate to it a lot. I loved your style. Keep up your good work. 5/5

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