Why dont you listen why dont you care?
Why wont you let me open let me share
My feelings inside I am so sad
But I fake this smile so you will think im glad
I hate the way you hate me
Hate the way you stare
Think you know me so well
All my problems you can not tell
All this pain and hurt inside
I hide my anger show my pride
Its hard to stay alive easy to die
Even though its hard I try
I want to get away
But I also want to stay
Go away where no ones around
Quiet nights without any sound
Except for my silent screams
All endless hopes and dreams
Always lying always crying
Even though Im always trying
I end up making things a mess
All the anxiety always depressed
Always hoping for a little bit more
Getting less than she had before
Hating, crying, anger, pain
Sleepless nights filled with shame
Shaking cold, dying inside
Happiness she can not provide
She sits and quietly looks at the sky
Crying as she slowly says goodbye
Goodbye to loving, living in pain
To the things she can not explain
She always gives in to everything
Trying all she can to stop the sting
Waiting all her life for something right
Loosing every battle every fight
Keeping emotions and feelings trapped
Holding onto memories that she forever kept
Wishing upon every star
That you would love her for who you are
But every wish has yet come true
She loves you and you never knew
Just how much she cared
All her feelings never shared
All the pain you caused her
Her whole life has been a blur
The tears keep falling
She sits there balling
With you doing so little but so much
All she needs is your loving touch
But her pain will be there forever
It will always remain
All her hopes all her dreams
They went right down the drain
She causes herself so much pain
Too many losses too little gains
Sheâ??s getting sick of her daily routine
All her fake smiles that you have seen
Pretending to be happy, instead of blue
She has everything, except for you
She keeps this locked up though
If you cared at all then you would know
Just how she feels week to week
All the tears that fall down her cheeks
All the sadness and imperfection
All the terror and misdirection
She could keep pretending
That her heart isnt bending
That her life is perfect
While it is twisted, torn, and wrecked
She saves it all up until sunset
Then she lets it go in regret
The emotions are released in a swirl
Her head is spinning in a whirl
She tries to think it hurts her so
To forget it all and let you go
But she must move on
Before its dawn
So she cries all night long
And listens to her favorite song
Over and over till she knows it all
All the lyrics tied up in a ball
Relating so closely to her life
Paper hearts cut by paper knifes
She loves him and he doesnt understand
How she desires to hold his hand
To be acknowledged to be loved
To not be pushed, not be shoved
To go on forever without a worry
Never needing to say sorry
Never having to lie to yourself
To put the truth on the top shelf
Away from eye level it cant be seen
Feeling happy sad and in between
Turning stomachs aching hearts
Never wanting to be apart
So she shall wait for the tears to stop
No more water will she let drop
She falls asleep and writes a song
Even though her words are wrong
She doesnt know anything anymore
But its you that she adores
She knows the truth she cannot take
All the smiles she has to fake
So far its working no one knows
How sad I am, I wont let it show
I hope no one asks me how I feel
Or my secrets might get reveal
And as for now I sit in the black
Trying to get my life back on track
So she walks in the rain
Hiding her pain
Hoping you will listen to her heart
And you can love her right from the start
So she sits on her half made bed
While she is alone with her dizzying head
She waits forever because hes worth it
Trying to make the pieces fit
Rearrange her messed up reality
So she wont lose her vitality
Make her let go instead of hold on
To not think about what has gone
To be joyful filled with glee
To not think of you and me
Not crying, or dying, or wishing for us
Not praying, not hoping, not having stress
So we wait for the special moments
That take our breath away
Gather all the contents
Of our hurt and anger all day
And trap up all the pain inside and throw away the key
Just leave me alone and just met me be
Keep those feelings locked up never to return
Never will that keyhole need to turn
You have finally gotten over this war
It is now how it was before
You slowly gave in now you gave back out
You do not cry and you do not pout
You pray everyday that a new love will come
But as for now you are through an done
Done with all the screaming, crying, depression
Now your diary knows you biggest confession
You are now normal once again
Now this feeling you should maintain
Then one day you will be completely through
Not hanging on as you still do
