Your Saddened Birthday Hymn

by Christie   Apr 24, 2006


Lit candles on the cake,
Waiting for your birthday wish,
The trail of smoke slowly disappearing,
Into the deep abyss.

We all gather 'round the table,
To sing a saddened birthday hymn,
Unstoppable tears, slowly falling,
Together our broken hearts all sing.

Your untouched cake, the lit candles,
The empty chair where you should have sat,
The absence of happiness and cheers,
The unworn "Happy Birthday" hat.

But now you are somewhere else,
While we are left behind,
One last party as a tribute,
To such a wonderful life.

© Christie 2006

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Latest Comments

  • 18 years ago

    by twisted reality

    Aww hunny. I know what it's like to lose someone so close to you. =( If you ever need to talk to someone, don't hesitate to PM me. =)

    The flow was good, but could be possibly improved. I LOVED the rhymes ^_^. They were so originally thought up, and well placed. The imagery was great. I could definately feel like everyone else had at the 'party'. Well done. You're a great writer. =) 5/5 xoxo

    Samantha

  • 18 years ago

    by catherine

    You used good rhyming techniques, but it could have flowed a little better. Very emotional and touching though.

  • 18 years ago

    by Jennifer

    Thats a really great poem :) very sad though...keep writng your good!!!

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