Absolutely brilliant! This was an original topic and you worked the flow very well. You have the ability to creat very vivid imagery with this poem.
It does have a sad touch to it but towards the end you feel like some closure has been reached by the ashes floating out to sea...

My favorite lines were:
Pebbles tossed away by the ocean
Grovel at my feet for protection.

Very creative your talent clearly shines though your writing!

This is a very well written peice. the flow is very smooth thoughout and the structure works well. the expression in this peice is wonderfully mastered and ballenced thoughout the peice with no part over weighing any other, the content is fantastically portryed with some amazing imagry and vocab usage s well as the very indepth and effective exploration of ideas.

5/5

"Upon the sands of a melancholy heart
My hands envelop our remains.
Humming ashes to ashes, dust to dust,
Fond memories wash out to sea. "

I adored this part you are amazing at writing. When I read your poems it doesnt feel as if I am reading a poem they are so lifelike and original from the first syllable I step into your poems....few poems are able to do this for me....the language is elaborate yet perfectly used.

[lostlaureate - come find me]

Good poem . . i liked it.

Hehe . . . .
No jokes . . . erm

Casts all notion of sorrow aside.
Pebbles tossed away by the ocean

That was a great image - tiny little pebbles are nothing in the great sea - one persons troubles are nothing to the extreme weight of poverty and disease in this world.

Your poem flowed excellently, great write, it really captured the reader - nice.

Peace. [Sole]

The imagery in this poem is beautiful. it was like it painted a picture in my mind. It was just absolutely beautiful. The flow was very good. & i really liked the way that you ended it. 5/5*

Absolutely amazing imagery, I could see the ocean, sand, and the tides making the pebbles danced in and out of the ocean.

Sorry I also wanted to say that I would be honored if you took time to critique some of my poems.

Arsalan D.

That is really good.. It's so emotive and the flow and rhythm of it was really good. My favorite part was the last two lines:
Humming ashes to ashes, dust to dust,
Fond memories wash out to sea.
You are such an amazing poet. Great job on this! I loved it!

...Terrific Title...

..Wonderful message...

...So well-done....adult poetry I call it...