Rain

by silhouette fairy   Apr 26, 2006


Rain, something i think of
it reminds me of you
the day we met
our hair stuck to our faces
my make-up smeared
i looked up at you and smiled
water dripping off your nose
our eyes met,
it didn't matter how wet we were
then a car, a puddle
well you know
the moment lost
then we got on to the train
we sat together and whispered
about nothing
but about everything
it wasn't even our stop
but we got off any way
dancing in the rain
I've never felt this way before
then you kissed me
everything vanished
and we went our separate ways
all of this,
just because of the rain

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Latest Comments

  • 18 years ago

    by Ariana

    I like how you use the rain as the main idea here and work your anecdote around it. I also enjoyed the really casual language eg ' well, you know, the moment lost' cause it sounds as if you are speaking/writing directly to someone. I also like the line 'i've never felt this way before' as it makes the encounter sound special & out of the ordinary, and the person and someone to be remembered. I'd suggest breaking up the last line into two as this would emphasise the idea of rain more and would give a nice closing :)

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