Remember?

I was shy that first day, new and alone on a big bus. I sat down somewhere hoping to be out of the way. Then you came, and sat down next to me, wondering why I was in your seat. You looked at me, and smiled. You asked me my name. I told you, and then you told me yours. We became best friends right away. I though you were so funny, when you said I would marry Sam, and you would marry Matt. I though you were a little crazy, but I went the graduation anyway. My best memory was when I said, My foot is stuck, and we were sitting next to the Crazy Lady. My face was so red. We sat straight behind Matt, and Sam was right across from us. God I was scared. I remember my second favorite memory, when we were at my house laying under the stars on my blacktop, and Kurt said he wanted to marry someone just like his best friend. I remember agreeing with him after he left to save the car. I said I wanted someone just like you, and you said the same thing. I remember going to Roy's, day after day with you, and swinging on the swing. I remember you rolling the hammock over so I fell flat on my face, time and time again. I remember when your mom had that party for the teachers, and I spilled the crackers on the floor, but then put them back on the trey, and acted like it never happened. I remember going to see the fireworks, and Jordan and Isaac were there. We went right by the water after a while, and then stalked Cody until he turned. I remember sitting in your moms closet, and talking on the phone with Jared to see if he liked you. The best part was when I said Hold on, my mom wants me, but I wasn't even at my house. I just yelled at you for making too much noise on the other phone. Remember all of the times that you talked to Kyle when I was over? I remember saying that it wasn't fair that you always talked to him instead of me. I said I didn't want you to be best friend with him, because you were mine. You changed it and said he was your best guy friend. I said that was okay, but I said there was no way that you could ever like him. I figured from the stories you told me about him, he would hurt you, and that was the last think I wanted for you, but its funny how you went from Kyle to Jolene. They act kind of the same in the long run. They're always around and I never get to talk to you, and you never get to tell me anything either. But on the other side, you always tried to protect me too, and I thought I was the strongest thing on Earth. We made quite a team, we really did, but then your feelings began to change. I liked you and you like me, we had a ball telling secrets. God there were so many, but then in a blink of an eye, it was all gone. You no longer loved me, but I still loved you. You began to become something else, something different. You started to act like her. Every move you made reflected her, but you were my friend through it all. Even though I wasn't the one who got the calls. You didn't care what I did, or even that I was there, and I was annoyed that you didn't care. I'm always alone even when I don't want to be, you left me like a left over wrapper, stuck under the seat forever. I yelled and cried because you left me, Come back I said, over and over again, but you never turned around, you acted like you never even heard a sound. Then one day I figured out that you liked her more then me. You always do everything with her, and you are always calling her instead of me. I never get the two-hour calls just to say hi anymore, and I figured out how much I missed you calling everyday, and how much it meant to me, when you said I was a wonder person. But thats over now, and I should just forget. I continue to with you were there, I even beg for you to care. I said that I would stop, and still it didn't matter to you. I wish you would take back all of the mean things you said, and replace them with kind words. I still wish you were my friend, for I am lost without you. I'm left searching with out a clue. I need someone to tell me everything will work our right, when I think someone has permanently turned off my light. I feel like the world has stopped turning, and I guess I shouldn't bother trying to understand what I did wrong. I seem like I cant go on to live my life, and like my world is going to end, without a best friend. I have begged and I have pleaded, but I guess thats not good enough for you, nothing I ever do is, only the things she does are acceptable now. I think it would be different if it were a guy, then maybe I wouldn't continue to ask myself why. I could spread my arms out as long as they go, and I could say I love you this much, and I guess I will always be here waiting for you to make up your mind, do you love me to? But now matter what, I'm never giving up, I love you this much. But if you want, please tell me now, if you want I could just be a phase, and you wouldn't have to deal with my ways. I could turn off the light, close the door, and lock it tight.