R.I.P. Tony Cooper
by shawn hoskins Apr 27, 2006
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Another day i don't feel like taking anything, But there's always a little voice telling me it's alright don't worry about a thing, I'm trying to clean myself from all of done wrong, but it's hard to do on your own, Old habits resurface when you feel alone, Just lost my cousin last week, Driving drunk he was only twenty-three, Only wish i could see his face or hear him speak, We pressed our luck time and time again theres no denying, Just whish i could change things, I guess god has a way of opening your eyes by watching your cousin in a coma slowly dying. |
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16 years ago
by she
Old habits resurface when you feel alone,--sadly so true
the ending hits you with emotion, really well written,
im truely sorry if this poem is real -
16 years ago
It was perfect!! but sad too.....I am sorry about your cousin
I understand where you are coming from. maybe it will hope the eyes of others too -
16 years ago
by Krathia
Your poem needs structuring, or it will just be a piece of prose. Nevertheless, it's well done. You go against the rule "show, don't tell", but it really doesn't matter that much because you do a good job of telling.
Your ideas are kind of scattered, but somehow you've managed to weave them all together so they'd flow nicely. Because there is no structure, the poem seems loosely intense, if that's even possible.
A good ending; it hits home and leaves behind this cold sting. Overall your poem is loose and sad, a little like in autumn when the leaves are falling down. At least, it gave me that feeling. -
18 years ago
by Sondos
Very intense and quite eerie, I liked this alot
Sondos
