by shawn hoskins Apr 27, 2006
category :
Sadness, depression /
grieving, loss
Another day i don't feel like taking anything, But there's always a little voice telling me it's alright don't worry about a thing, I'm trying to clean myself from all of done wrong, but it's hard to do on your own, Old habits resurface when you feel alone, Just lost my cousin last week, Driving drunk he was only twenty-three, Only wish i could see his face or hear him speak, We pressed our luck time and time again theres no denying, Just whish i could change things, I guess god has a way of opening your eyes by watching your cousin in a coma slowly dying. |
by she
Old habits resurface when you feel alone,--sadly so true |
It was perfect!! but sad too.....I am sorry about your cousin |
by Krathia
Your poem needs structuring, or it will just be a piece of prose. Nevertheless, it's well done. You go against the rule "show, don't tell", but it really doesn't matter that much because you do a good job of telling. |
by Sondos
Very intense and quite eerie, I liked this alot |