My Hearts Decision

At times I desperately want to tell you goodbye;
for all the countless nights in my room where I cried,
from hearing your painful words that shattered my heart leaving me with feeling like I'd just rather die.

I'm your fiance, so why did you let me feel that way (?)
Is it because your love for me has faded away (?)

Or did you get to comfortable and thought it was okay because my love for you is so strong and knew I was here to stay (?)

Thoughts came into mind,
maybe its not impossible to be a better person out there to find.

Someone who love me the way I loved you,
but never imagine to hurt me the way you do.

But how will I find this person and who will it be (?)
I just can't wait for him to take away the pain and make me happy.

My heart interrupted speaking louder than my thoughts,
saying "what about all the good times that he brought(?)"

the many ways he helped you and all the good he has done,
after thinking about it, do you honestly feel that he isn't the one (?)

how else could your close minded self, find someone to easily spill your guts to till there's nothing left to say,
while falling in love with him in just one day (?)

Who else will put up with your extreme heart of a child personality,
and at the same time, share so many likes and dislike similarities (?)

Who else will sing to you every night before you go to sleep (?)
although through all the ups and downs, his heart you know you want to keep."

I've had more smiles, than I had cries, I love you so much and I'm not ready for any goodbyes