It Hit Me

O geese,
they are all going to be so confused
by the choices of these:

im going to give it up
through it away.
My last night is today.
I cant handle it.
Trying to put it behind me,
trying to forget.
I just cant! I miss lee!

Everyone thought I was healed.
But my true depression I hid,
I hid it so it wouldn’t be revealed.
I hid the cuts on my wrist,
they thought I stopped,
but truly...the cuts
just went to somewhere else, they dropped.

They thought I stopped my E.D.
And that it was a neutral weight loss, cause,
but no the purging is still here,
I still get on my knees.
In the food my true depression appears.

It hit me so hard last night.
How much I was still in pain,
how I was not over this self hate fight!
I thought I was done.
I thought the fight I won.

But if thats the case...
Why am I holding daddy`s gun......