My fault

I shout when someone leaves
like it's their fault that I'm lonely
but I'm not perfect either
my life is very phony

when I have problems
i simply run away
i run as far as possible
and isolate myself for the day

why must i accuse
everyone of ignoring me
when in reality,
even i would ignore me

i yell and shriek
because i fear that if I'm left alone
all my innermost thoughts
will begin to unfold

i am trying not to cry now
as i watch you go
just let me tell you something
that i feel you must know

it's my fault, not your
that i live in darkness
though i blame it on you
it's my half-heartedness