At night i lay there,
in my bed.
Its been three weeks,
and the craving is getting worse.
so much pain has built up,
so much hurt in this short life i've had.
And he sill wants so bad,
for me to call him dad...
i can't,
i won't.
he only makes it worse.
three weeks since the last time,
the last time when it felt so good to feel that metal on my arm,
and to let it take the pain away...
trying to stop,
is so much harder then when i started...
as i write this i want it more...
i can't believe i opened that door...
the door that led,
led me to be this inner tornado of emotions,
that never stop spinning...
dizzyness sets in,
but i cant stop myself now..
its taken over...
now im spun out of control
