Ok dude. u seriously need 2 submit that in my comp. NO JOKES. that is one fo the best poems I've even read from somebody who isn't doing this 4 a career. serious. and thats not 2 long. thats perfect length 4 a ballad. please submit. I'd love to have that in there! *hugs* keep it up! AWESOME!!!

xoxo Ruthie

Aidyn, you actually made my mouth drop - what a twist! (maybe i'm too trusting) ..this would be especially creepy if read by candlelight....(i was going to say campfire, but decided against it - yours is too classy a tale)

- lenny, the lethargic lit lady

It was absolutely amazing. Alot of those sequences were great, and as well as your description, it was very much vivid. It was long, but I love long poems. You used it to the best of your advantage to tell a story, which I loved, and did amazing. If you have more, I have to check them out. Great construction, keep writing.

Ooooh.

It was like a story, haha. Nice job I really liked it, but it's sooo long!

I think more people would finish it if you split it up, and then the series of 5 would be like a series of 10349, haha.

Nice job, very creative, and great imagery.

I liked how the format stayed clean throughout.

The poem was so long -no offence- that I thought this was part of the poem for a second:

Congratulations! You've made it to the end! Please tell me what you think, I'd greatly enjoy opinions. If you're willing to read another ridiculously long poem, I suppose it's only fair to tell you that this is the second poem in a series of five. The first has already been submitted, under the name "The Stones of an Untamed Paradise"

I swear, I'm not blonde!

5/5! I love it. Interesting and refreshing.
PV

Okay....

So you managed to black me into reading this poem after what a 7 month gruge against it? *screams like a melting witch* -Sigh- may I say that is one LONG arsed poem!

Plot wise, that was of course a marilious sequel to untamed paridise (sp) Ive always loved people with green eyes, good or evil green eyes will rule the world:) Lol

Sadly I must say with your funky middle english im going to have to come back to this poem and read it again to get a better understanding *aka when I have a dictionary next to me*, I'm proud of you though hun, that you manged a great flow and rythem through what looks like over 80 lines of sheer brilliance.

Ahh my internet is going hay wire *cries* Kay *cough* anywho, you know this poem is your master peice and should be hung on the queens ball room wall ^_^ keep it up and never let the passion die

Ps.

Btw... I agree with Justin and Ruthie ^_^

and hun..if you ever write a poem this long again split it up.. so many words *pops tylenol* too big of a head ache

KIDDING:D

Black mail!******************

okay look three comments arent you ahppy now ---I cannot believe I forgot the work MAIL!---