Too bad...

by Gaberial   Apr 28, 2006


Wipe away the tears,
and ask what's wrong.
Give you my heart,
and sing you a song.

You are the one,
that makes my day.
The bright sun,
that shows the way.

Hold you tight,
and share a kiss.
Never let go,
or lose the bliss.

You are the one,
put here for me.
You are the one,
with the only key.

Too bad its a dream,
never to come true.
But what if,
you could love me too?

    report violation
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Latest Comments

  • 18 years ago

    by holly

    Lovely poem, great rhymes. nice thoughts and effective ending xxALLYxx

  • 18 years ago

    by Sean Allen

    "Too bad its a dream,"
    it's needs an apostrophe, it's a contraction
    ~~~
    Your first stanza was the only one with any sort of personalized detail, and it didn't have much of that either. I think that when it comes to this sort of love poem, if it doesn't have something that makes it yours, then it belongs to the world of cliche. Next time you write a love poem, think about specifics, or moments, or something that makes you think that it's a memory that is yours, not one that is so general and abstract that the whole world could have written the same general feeling down. Unless you're shooting for a great fundamental truth (in that case generalizations are fine), I'd go specifc.

  • 18 years ago

    by Evil love

    Well even thought this one wasn't a dream for you in reality you made it a dream in the poem, still good though 5/5 from me

  • 18 years ago

    by Jessica

    Awww.. again, i can soo relate.. seems like we're both in the same position.. very in love with someone that doesn't love us.. lol.. excellent poem, lots of emotion and a great flow! 5/5

  • 18 years ago

    by gemowski

    WOW im really feelin this poem i can relate to it so much really good work hun nothing bad to say about this one

    gema xoxoxo

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