Why?

Why do i think of what i will become?
when the only thing that comes to mind is me as that lonely scum.
the one who no one loves or feels that way for her,
the one who's future family seems to be a blurr.

theres time when i want to believe that this is just a nightmare
i pinch myself a thousand times and see in the mirror I'm right there.
i always want to view myself as someone that I'm not,
as someone who in general terms is classified as hot.

this is one dream i cannot seem to find a happy ending
looks like my life I'll have to live it only by pretending.
no one seems to care why I'm sad or ask why? how come?
but if they did I'd answer them I'm that one lonely scum.